Time Arch to nowhere

You know that have been thinking about you since 4 weeks and 2 days? (and counting)
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When I'm driving in my car, having pretend conversations with you, half the time I really like you and half the time I hate you so much. It drives me mad not to be able to read what goes on inside your head.

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Sometimes I wish you could tell me all the things you say to me when your drunk, sober.
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You make me vibrate.

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I deserve and demand your honesty. I have never asked for anything else from you and I'd be honored to have it. You are a black pit of sadness that pulls me down, but oh how I like to be pulled down and struggle to get up again.

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What do you want from me?!!

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I miss my friend GT and the closeness we had built. I feel a little lost w/ out you and wish so bad you came back to how you were with me before. Before what?

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"Dont show the hunger" is a shitty theory. If you don't show her some interest, or a lot of interest, she will have no reason to care about you. You have been not showing the hunger for two or three years (since I know you) and that has worked horribly for you. You are not only alone but you have a crappy reputation amongst the girls in our group.
"Sincerity" and "mejor una vez colorado que 100 descolorido" works in my opinion much better and cuts the bullshit by about 50%

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I've told you many times that I need you, and it's true. But I know that you are not the solution to my mess and that I am not good for you either. However I like needing you and I even like that feeling of helplessness you left in me today. You woke me up from my sleep and brought me to life again. If I could only pay you back what you've done for me.

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I don't want to lose you now. This state of being friendly but not talking to each other outside of common events is a big heap of poop. I miss you so much. The talk, your advice, your smile. Your SMILE.

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I miss you I miss you I miss you. I want you too, but I can hold back on that one.
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Wine makes the heart heavier and more fond of you.
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No sé por qué me hace tanta falta oír tu voz y verte al otro lado de la mesa. Tengo suficientes oídos en casa, suficientes brazos que abrazan. Sin embargo, también me hacen falta los tuyos y me duele físicamente no verte. Tengo permanente en el alma una carita triste, nada más.

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Before: I honestly don't remember what is like to do this. Way too much time has passed, and time makes things blurry and blows feelings out of proportion. This is not easy or automatic, not that It ever was, but I feel out of place right now. I feel that I'll be disappointed and you'll be disappointed and no matter how much liquor we drink, we'll not wash that gushy feeling away. Then again, i might be overthinking it and everything will be alright.
After: nope, it was not alright. I let my guard down and he didn't know what to do w/ that. Awkwardness ensued. I feel fake and sincere, broken and strong, tired and awake. I want to turn back time and start all over. I'm stuck in mud, and he doesn't care.