The Fog

What is it about America that numbs my brain so much? I just found an old notebook, the one Sonja gave me right before I left Germany the first time in 2003. In it i had written stories about my crazy everyday between visas, I wrote about my fears and the upcoming challenges, and was able to open my heart and pour it over its pages. I know for a fact that during that time I also painted and read much more than I do now and somehow my brain was in constant and productive movement.

Now, since I moved permanently to the States, the only thing that gets my noodle active is maybe politics, and not even in the same way it did back in my Xaverian days. If feel like drowning in a sea of overwhelming noise, too much information bombarded at me and since I cannot swim so well in it, I just stay at the shore or float in the shallow area. SHALLOW AREA!

I need to sink again a little!!! Desperation is sometimes needed to spice this bland chocolate flavored life!!!

Long time no see!

Wheeh, it's been over a year since I last wrote on the blog. Not because I didn't feel like it, but mostly because this year has been a blur of emotional ups and downs and I have not had a minute to sit down and stop for a moment.
Life in Texas seems to be in constant movement, even when day to day I feel more and more stuck to my office chair. I have met new people, drifted away from what I thought was my "texan family"; I filled some gaps in my life, and ditched new holes between me and others. Time never stops around me, it flows and it comes and it goes.
I need to write here as a catharsis but mostly as a rest stop.
I need to stop driving around to the next big thing. I need to sit down and process, collect my thoughts and discard what I dont need.

Life never stops surprising us... then again, it just never stops.